I know that I just said what everyone is thinking. You’re welcome. For anyone who has ever planned an event, whether it be a birthday party or a full size wedding, you know the struggle. People just don’t respond to RSVP’s anymore. As our culture moves toward more casual interactions, RSVPs are being caught in the crossfire. Letting someone know if you will attend their event or not is a non-negotiable. It’s not only common courtesy but it also shows how you feel about the event. It is the perception that if you are excited to attend an event you will quickly check your availability and let the host know if you will attend. If you are not overly excited, and you don’t immediately respond, it gives off the vibe that you are waiting for something better to come along. This can lead to hurt feelings and resentment.
There are some misunderstandings that you only RSVP if you are planning on coming, and it should be assumed that if you don’t RSVP you aren’t going to make it. This is so confusing for the host. They don’t know if your invitation was lost, if you put the date on your calendar but forgot to RSVP and are planning on showing up, or if you are simply procrastinating.
If you are hosting a large event it is totally acceptable to put on the invitation “RSVP Regrets only.” I will caution towards letting your guests off the hook, as this may confuse those who don’t know what it means. RSVP regrets only simply means that you only need to send your response if you are not planning on attending. If the host doesn’t hear from you they will assume you will be coming.
If you receive an invitation you should send your response, a yes or a no, within a week. People invite you to their events because they would like you to be there. As hosts they are spending a great deal of time, effort, and money making sure those they care about will have a great time. Even worse than not sending in your response in a timely manner, is saying that you are coming and then not showing up. THIS IS SO BAD. Last minute things come up. Everyone understands that. Please call the host as soon as you know you won’t be able to make it so the host has as much time as possible to adjust.
What happens when you don’t RSVP to a Wedding:
- The Couple’s feeling are hurt. They have spent so many hours preparing for this special day and they invited you because you are important to them.
- They will have to give you that very awkward “are you coming” phone call.
- The caterer doesn’t know how much food to make. This can either result in not enough food, or food that is wasted that the couple still needs to pay for.
- There aren’t enough tables set, or there are empty tables. Each set table at a wedding can cost a few hundred dollars. The table, linens, dinnerware, decor, centerpieces, etc, these are all wasted if no one shows. These are also all things that can’t be brought in last minute. You will be seated, providing there is room at the venue, at a table that has backup decor and everyone will know that you didn’t let the host know you were coming.
- If the couple made a venue change based on their confirmed guest list, they may not have room for you despite all best efforts.
Just to be clear you must RSVP to all social events. You must let the host know if you are coming or not. If a friend invites you to a multi-level marketing Facebook group selling make-up or a beach bod work out, it is totally fine to ignore those.
RSVP is the abbreviation for the French expression “Repondez s’il vous plait.” This translates to “please reply.” You do not need to write “Please RSVP.” You should however include a due date.
If you have anymore questions please feel free to send me a message. I will be happy to answer any questions.