Who Gets a Plus One to the Wedding?

January 18, 2017

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Guest lists are for sure one of the most difficult parts of planning a wedding.  Your guest list is so tightly intertwined with your budget that even adding just a few people can put you over.  We all know that the best way to reduce your spend is to cut your guest list.  However, by cutting the list things can get uncomfortable.

You are not required to extend a plus one to everyone.  If your budget can support it then please allow all of your guests to bring a date. If you aren’t able to invite everyone with a plus one here are some guidelines:

You Are Expected to Invite Those Who Are:

  • Married
  • Engaged
  • Co-habitating
  • In a long term relationship (What determines “long-term” should be decided prior to and should be kept consistent throughout the process) 

The Exceptions:

  • You have that one single friend.  Don’t make them feel awkward if they are the only one without a dance partner.  Extend a plus one to them.
  • Your wedding party. They are spending a lot of time and money on you. You should allow them to bring a friend or significant other. 
  • If you have a few single guests who won’t know anyone else at the wedding.  
    • If you and your guests are younger, or if having several single friends would be fun, don’t feel obligated to invite plus ones.  You never know.  Maybe the next couple to be married would have met at your wedding. 
  • Your immediate family. Tread carefully here.  If Dad’s new girlfriend will make Mom uncomfortable this is a conversation to have before invitations are sent out. 

My recommendation is to always allow your A list to bring a date, even if that means you can’t invite some people from your B list.  As your RSVP’s come in and you get a few no’s you can move on to inviting the friends from your B list. 

If you have anymore guest list questions, or would like to talk more about your wedding, please reach out here

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